One day, jesus-called-iphone took some disciples up a mountain top to have a better signal. And jesus was walking a little ahead of the disciples, so when they looked up they saw jesus in bright new garments, with ipod and ipad at his sides. So the disciples knelt down and Peter-called-googleearth said, "Quick, let us build a tabernacle for them." And the other disciples were like, "That could take a while and I'm not really wearing my building clothes, so maybe we can just hang out."
And jesus came down to them, all shiny and new, and said, "Check out my new clothes. I'm upgraded. For verily, my reception is better, I look nicer, and now I can do two things at once." And jesus-called-iphone4 showed them his multitasking and they were amazed.
But thomas-called-pc doubted jesus' upgrade and said, "Master, are you sure you don't lose signal and drop off?" And jesus said, "I have placed my undergarments over my outergarments, and now my signal is very strong." And everyone was amazed, but thomas said, "Still, I will not believe until I have touched these undergarments." And jesus said, "Why doest thou doubt me, thomas?" But jesus told thomas to reach out his left hand and touch the undergarments. And thomas did as he had been told. And jesus dropped off, for there was a flaw in his undergarments.
And the people said to themselves, "This is not the messiah," while others said, "He just has a bad provider."
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