One day when jesus-called-iphone was young, he went to the temple and debated with the elders. And they were amazed with his teachings, saying, "How can this youth speak to us with such wisdom when, verily, he cometh not from the blackberries nor the palms?" And the people all said to each other, "Truly this is the messiah, for look how he maketh the techies swoon."
But as jesus was talking, he would come to a particularly important part of his teachings when he would drop off from what he was saying. And the people said, "Maybe he is not the messiah, for yea, though he speaks with much wisdom, is easy to converse with, is simple, and has much hipster cred, still he keeps dropping what he is saying when we are trying to talk with him."
But the techie elders said, "Lo, it is not jesus' fault, but that of his provider, whose coverage is poor." And the people knew this was true, so they said to jesus, "Master, maybe if you cometh away from the temple, and goeth up on that hill, you will have coverage and we can better learn your teachings."
And jesus went with them out of the temple and up the hill, and yea, he did haveth three bars.
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