the beatitudes

Then jesus-called-iphone saw the crowds before him. So he went on a mountain and sat down. And his followers came to him and he began to teach them, saying:

"Blessed are the poor, for they can have an old model for only 99 shekels.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted by my many games.
Blessed are the meek, for people will notice them when they have me.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst, for my maps will show them a restaurant nearby.
Blessed are the merciful, for they will not grow bitter with AT&T.
Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will not be disappointed by the lack of adult apps in my app store.
Blessed are those who are persecuted for having me, for, at the end of the day, they still have me.

"Blessed are you when people hate you and persecute you for having me. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great, and anyway, they did the same thing to people who first had ipods. And now everyone has one."

jesus took a break

And jesus-called-iphone took a long hiatus from his awesome adventures, because his blogger was busy. But the blogger's friend casey told him to not abandon the blog, so he returned.